Do you know that 70% of women keep tabs or check on their men? If you didn’t know now you know. Some of the women claim that they are not actually keeping tabs on their men, but they are only concerned about their wellbeing and are only checking up on them.
The whole issue of ladies checking up on their men/boyfriends, as they claim, has become a heated point of discussion nowadays. There are variant reasons why this is happening. These reasons can be put into two categories: What women say as well as what men say regarding the same.
I have dedicated today’s article to explore on this social issue which is threatening to break many relationships and marriages.
In fact, women will do the following things in effort to check on their men:
Check their spouse’s Facebook accounts
Read their spouse’s cell phone messages
Check their spouse’s trouser and shirt pockets for any documents
Inspecting signs of any mysterious cologne
Investigate any change in behavior e.g. failure to eat food at night.
Well, let’s look at different arguments around this development.
A. What do women allege?
Women will check or keep tabs on their men due to the following reasons.
i. Because of Love.
According to 60% of women, they are not keeping tabs on their men as most men claim, but they are only checking up on their loved ones. They do this out of love. In fact, a famous R&B musician from the United States of America (USA), put it in his song that, “when a woman loves she loves for real.”
Women argue that they feel contented when they check on their men. Most of these women pose a question of, “If I don’t check-up on him, who will?” In other words, if they don’t check on them, someone else will do.
Because of the love, they have for their men or boyfriends; they can’t help it but check on how they are progressing. So, it’s not that they are keeping tabs on them as majorities are claiming.
ii. Insecurity developed by their spouses’ behavior.
Some women argue that they check on their men to ensure that they are safe because they feel insecure every time they are not together. The insecurity is brought by the fact that, men involve themselves with diverse activities as they hustle for their family as well as when unwinding. As a result, they may fall victim of some horrible acts. This makes their women check on them to ensure that they are secure wherever they are at any given time.
On the other hand, some men are drunkards; as a result, they fall victim of terrible situations like being involved in an accident or even being charged by the authority for drinking and driving (a breach of traffic rules). Having helped their men from some of these situations in the past makes women have the fear that their spouses might fall victim again. For this reason, they will always check on them to ensure they are safe.
iii. Lack of trust
Some ladies argue that they are forced to keep tabs or check on their men due to lack of trust. They note that some men are very promiscuous and can’t be trusted. The fear of their men getting involved with other women makes them keep checks. If men want their women to stop checking on them, then they should enhance trust by being faithful.
B. What do men say?
According to men, the following are reasons why some women keep tabs on their men or check on them as they claim.
I. Because of insecurity.
Some men argue that most women keep tabs on their men because they are insecure. They claim that there is a famous adage that has emerged and it is affecting the way most of they relate with their men. According to the adage, “A man is yours only when you are with him.” The majority of women tend to believe this adage so much that, they are constantly calling their spouse claiming that they are checking on them.
What men forget is that they are the cause of this insecurity. The way men behave when they are away from their spouses builds a lot of insecurity. When women feel secure, they develop trust and they will not keep tabs or check on their men now and then.
ii. Because of she has been hurt in the past
There is a group of men, who claim that women, who keep tabs on their men, have been hurt before. They are afraid that the same horrible things might happen again in their current relationship or marriage. The fear of her present man for example cheating on her causes the lady to constantly call her man. A woman does everything she can to make sure that she doesn’t go through similar predicaments like she had before. Men should treat their spouses well and they can rest assured that they will not disturb them with continuous calls throughout the day.
iii. Lack of trust
Lack of trust according to men is a cause of constant calls from their spouses. They claim that their spouses’ lack of trust causes them to disturb them with “unnecessary calls.”
Trust is an integral part of a relationship as well as marriage. Lack of trust results in the change in behavior and is a major reason women tend to monitor their spouses, for example, browsing their spouse’s cell phone to check messages. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with a lady checking up on her man. It only shows that she cares about him and doesn’t want anything bad to happen to him.
Men should realize that their women check on them but they don’t keep tabs on them. However, if it is necessary, because of the man’s change in behavior, the women will do it. She keeps tabs on her man since she loves him and feels insecure when he is away.