The reason that I called Part I of this article “How to Have an Affair with Your Husband,” is because that is one great solution to keep passion alive. Keep in mind this works for husbands as well as wives, but in this example I am using men. Look at your relationship through the eyes of a “mistress.” What would they do if they were trying to impress your husband? How would they get his attention and what would they do to keep it? When you figure that out, begin to do it. Your husband will be so amazed and thrilled that the results could be earth shattering.
The 35 Tips for Creating the Perfect “Affair” with Your Spouse:
1. Find out what you spouse values. Is it your time, your attention, your validation, your respect, your service, or your physical attention.
2. Be sure to give them what they need, NOT what you would like to receive.
3. Most men value physical touch. Men need to have physical interaction with their wife on a regular basis. Not just interaction but passionate and enthusiastic interaction. That would seal the deal.
4. It is amazing what men will overlook if you take care of this aspect of your marriage.
5. Don’t feel self conscious about your body. Love who you are, be confident in yourself and love your husband passionately. That is what he wants more than a perfect body.
6. Respect yourself and the boundaries of your marriage. Don’t put yourself in situations that could lead to difficult temptations. Listen to you gut and do the best thing for you and honor your marriage.
7. Honesty and trust are two of the most valuable assets a marriage can have. Trust your husband and don’t give him reasons to not trust you. Be honest with how you feel and what you do.
8. Men need to feel wanted, loved, sexy and respected. Find ways to make your husband feel this way.
9. Validate and affirm your husband daily. Let him know, in whatever way he responds to, that you appreciate what he does and that is doing a good job.
10. Write down all the things that attracted you to you husband, all the things he does well. Read it regularly. Write down what you don’t like about your husband. Throw it away. If you start focusing on what you do like, instead of what you don’t, you will begin to get more of what you like.
11. Take care of yourself. Basic things like good grooming, exercise, good nutrition and caring for your skin and hair.
12. Men respond to the visual, give them something to think about. You don’t have to be skinny, you don’t have to be beautiful, just do the best you can with what you have and he will love it and you for it.
13. Invest in yourself. Have hobbies and outside interests, but not at the expense of time with your husband. Having things you love to do, makes you more interesting and a more equal partner. If your life is just about your husband and kids, it is time to develop some things that are just for you. Independence is very sexy.
14. Allow and encourage your husband to pursue hobbies and outside interests, but not at the expense of time with your family. Be supportive and not clinging when he engages in positive hobbies.
15. Don’t put up with being taken advantage of. At the moment you start to feel there is an imbalance, address it. Don’t let it fester and become a deal breaking issue.
16. Don’t nag or complain. He heard you the first hundred times. Ask yourself why this is still an issue and discuss possible solutions with him. If you have several issues that need addressed, make a list and be playful about expressing what you need done. Maybe even offer some incentives… If it does not get done, call a professional and give him the bill. He will soon get the message.
17. Call him or text him with provocative messages. Don’t stalk him, just remind him you are thinking of him in a provocative way.
18. Text him a suggestive photo of you. Note I said suggestive, not x-rated. You want to have him imagine coming home to you, not take care of things himself. Leave much to the imagination, don’t send anything you might regret later.
19. Meet him at an unusual time of day for some physical attention.
20. Look for ways to be passionate in unexpected places and times.
21. Have special signals that you can use in front of people that signal him what you are thinking of.
22. Sneak away together whenever possible to show affection for each other.
23. Write secrets notes to each other and put them in a pocket, lunch or car.
24. Surprise him with a special lunch or meal that is unexpected.
25. Plan a secret getaway, even if it is very short.
26. Wear sexy nightclothes versus the sweats and comfies, show him you care what he sees.
27. Purchase sexy underwear and be sure only he knows you have it on.
28. Tease him and deliver on it.
29. Treat each physical encounter as if it was your chance to make an impression on him.
30. Treat him to a massage regularly, especially hands and feet. This can be very sensual even when around others. Buy some warming massage lotion for more intimate encounters.
31. Spice things up. Keep menthol cough drops by the bed. They create a cooling sensation on the skin you touch with your mouth.
32. Go out on dates, where you fix up and can act like a dating couple.
33. Always smell good. Even before bed, spray a little on you and a little on the sheets. Don’t overlook the power of scent to create a passionate feeling. Maybe, buy him some good stuff too!
34. Take care of your skin. Exfoliate, use lotion and even self-tanner. You will feel better about how you look and it will show in how you respond.
35. And finally, look for ways to enjoy your time together. Make each moment memorable, even when it seems routine. Turn the spark into a flame and keep the fuel at the ready.
Marriage is a special bond that you share, but it requires commitment and energy if you want your investment to stand the test of time. Your partner knows more about you than anyone else. They have seen your flaws and love you anyway. Think twice before you put that in jeopardy over an unknown, and often temporary, thrill. Invest in your spouse and you will reap the dividends all of your life. As well as setting a wonderful example for the generations to follow.